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Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts


May 26, 2016
raising a vegan toddler

You know, life is pretty care-free when you're without child. There is no having to think about whether you'll get enough sleep, no having to worry about making sure you're making the best choices - you can just live life, have fun, and do whatever to reach your goals. Then when you have children, IT. ALL. CHANGES.

When I was growing up, life wasn't all silver spoons and cash money. If mom was struggling, we never knew it. I was raised well but as I got older, I began to question a ton of stuff. Things like why we were expected to eat, learn, and grow in the same way. I was always "different" and I guess it showed. When I became a mom, I knew three things: I didn't want to repeat the same cycle as my family did, I wanted to be a mother who respected the future she carried, and I wanted to do more than just say "I love you".

Fast forward 22 months later - my son will be turning 2 in July. When he was born, my choice to breastfeed him was nothing to think about. I knew the liquid gold was always going to be my first choice, especially if I was able to do so. According to society, I should have stopped and started to wean him at 6 months. Of course, I dismissed that foolishness. I'm proud to say my toddler still supplements with breastmilk (from the boob only - he never was a fan of bottles or pacifiers, hallelou!) - Trust me when I say extended breastfeeding benefits definitely outweigh the awkward stares and lack of knowledge others project with their opinions. I'll save that for another post.

When my son was "old enough to start eating real food", the first things my mom and others would tell me were to:
  • Add real milk to his diet (cow milk is not meant for humans, yo!)
  • Let him suck on a chicken bone (is he a dog or human being?)
  • He can have cheetos, it won't hurt him
  • He needs to eat more than fruit and veggies Neosha... he needs meat too. (yeah, maybe if it wasn't lying around dormant at Walmart)
  • If he doesn't get his shots on time, he'll get sick -__- (insert huge laughs)
Imagine the looks on their faces when I refused to feed my child cow pus, processed and karma-filled meats,  not follow a vaccine schedule, eat hot cheetos at 8 months, and sugar-loaded koolaid. You would've thought I was a damn foreign object. As a mother, I realized I had to make better choices all around. It was no longer just me I had to worry about, but a child as well - plus, society has been lying to us for too long already so at some point we have to take FULL responsibility for ourselves. Of course, with my family and maybe even strangers, I'm sure their concerns came from genuine places but I also knew that majority of society lacks true understanding of their own selves, let alone their own health. Like, why should we go on "diets" to be healthy? 

Anyway, my choice for going full throttle on plant-based came from the day I was eating a can of soup. I gave my little one a few of the noodles to eat. One hour later when he woke from his nap in tears his face was covered in risen warts. *insert scared mama face* - it got to the point here I had no clue what to do and my child was falling asleep in a way that made him limp. My family called 911 and I ended up taking him to the emergency room. Note that it was a true waste of time. The DOCTORS had no clue what really caused the problem and quickly said "maybe a spider bit him" (what the hell you mean "maybe") and they gave him a small dose of meds to stop the itching and bring him back to normal - but I realized it was the noodles (that were made from wheat/gluten). From that day on, I vowed to kill off dairy, meats, and go gluten-free.and avoid over the counter medications completely. 

It was hard getting my family to understand my choices - his father was supportive though even if he didn't fully "get it" yet. My mom is a huge advocate for running to Tylenol, doctors, or any medication for that matter for everything from a runny nose to an itch. My quest to heal my son of his eczema and handle his food allergies was my goal so the day I set the record straight there was no changing my mind. Our health mattered and suppressing it was not on my agenda in any way. After eliminating dairy, meats, and gluten out of my own diet, I began to see drastic changes in my son's health and his skin. If I backslid and ate a peanut butter cookie, he'd itch up a storm - if I stuck to plant-based, he was as fresh as his newborn flesh. back to 22 months later, he's one of the happiest, healthiest, most friendly and loving child I know. All because I stuck to my gut and ignored the naysayers and the opinions of others on how I should raise MY child. 

Fighting to keep myself focused on why I started was a struggle but today - watching him and seeing him thrive is all that matters. Aside from my family still believing he's spoiled and "too attached" to his own mama - they see how loved he is and respect the choices I chose to make. Gone are the days of asking me when he's going to go see a doctor or if he can have koolaid and hot cheetos for a snack. 

I'm not saying every parent should follow my example but this is what has worked for me and my household. If being self-sufficient is something we should all strive for, no better place to start than with your own health. I allow myself to trust that I know better and do not have to take every word from others as gospel. I often ask myself, "If someone asks my child to describe his mother - what things would I want him to remember and appreciate about me most?" 


October 14, 2015

It's been 14 whole months since I experienced the gift of life that is childbirth. Me, a mother. A woman - WOMBman in every sense of the word. I'm thankful.

This past year has been rocky, full of uncertainty, some regret, and even many disappointments in myself. Out of an experience that should have been more sacred, filled with more happiness, but was determined to keep me at my worst came a special gift I never knew I'd be given. Thank you. Sometimes I have to remember to just trust the process. There are only lessons to be learned.


June 23, 2015
dont avoid the love of your black son

Last month I decided to hop on my Facebook - the one I no longer hang around much - to catch up with old classmates and such. Isn't it weird seeing how everyone is growing, creating families, and all? I've been out of high school 6 years and STILL can't fathom it.


May 12, 2015
how postpartum blues forced me to cater more to myself

This may not be much of a major issue for some women but as a fairly new mom still to a nine month old infant, my love for myself sort of spiraled down a quick slope. Don't get me wrong, I'm not referring to allowing others to mistreat or run me over - my tolerance with that declined greatly over the years - but I stopped doing the little things I enjoyed most. Mostly because I felt hindered and stripped of my "freedom".

Before having my son and even throughout my entire pregnancy I'd cater to myself by dressing up, putting on makeup, painting my nails often, changing up my hairstyle, and even admiring my evolving figure in the mirror. I'm a woman. I feel all women should admire themselves and highlight that. Heck, last year on my birthday, I gave my face a fierce beat, put on some clothes, and took myself to Walmart just because I felt like it.

I love and adore motherhood and all the long nights and poopy diapers but sometimes it does get super overwhelming. Especially since I have a knack for wanting to do everything myself. So much happened after I gave birth that also added to my postpartum "depression" if you will.

I was dealing with betrayal and confusion so you can imagine the issues I had to face not even a week after becoming a parent. UGH!

Life sucks the calm out of you sometimes. I had a conversation with my mother recently that put my need to love more of myself back into perspective. she shared how much she admired seeing me become "flawless" whenever I'd take the time to simply dress up in heels or apply my epically famous winged liner. Many other things were shared but she was right - I loved doing those things for myself because it always made me feel better. I don't need makeup or a fierce stiletto in my everyday life but when those things are so accessible to me, I should take more advantage. I decided to:

  • Allow more of myself to accept the help and love around me
  • Get extra cute for a random day out of each week
  • When it's totally necessary - stop, take a break, and be more still
  • Not allow motherhood to be an excuse for why I can't do something.
These are personal commitments I've made to and for myself because I deserve to do so just for me. If you follow me on Twitter, you can be sure to catch wind of the may things I've already shared so for the next few weeks starting off - #Cater2Thyself will be my hashtag. Follow my journey or join in so I can see how you love on yourself. *insert floating hearts*



April 23, 2015

I've been a mom for 9 months as of the 21st. I can honestly say that I never would have expected to enjoy motherhood as much as I have been. I expected the worse - especially since most women were quick to tell me what to expect when in reality, I have yet to deal with any of the things they mentioned.

If you read the crazy cause of my pregnancy, then you would know that I legit had no plans of making a baby. The hubs and I were too focused on getting our ish together at the time. So imagine my surprise .... As if I didn't know what the art of lovemaking could bring.

Since being someone's mommy, I have become so much of a cheese ball. I do random outbursts and dance moves to making wild faces and enjoying the struggle of cleaning poop off my arm just because I AM A MOM. If you are guilty of doing ANY of these things, just know you're not alone + a good excuse would be that women are just created to do things like this anyway.

1. Put your nose by baby's mouth + enjoy the infant breath
2. Get into the habit of smelling baby feet
3. Make weird noises + faces in public or while shopping
4. Become a creep + smell the little one for poop no matter where you are
5. Allow their breastfed infant to be curious + "finger" your nipple
6. Enjoy baby's learning games + songs more than them
7. Find a way to keep baby small forever (by hoarding things you should let go of - i.e diapers)
8. Create random songs out of thin air

Yes, I am guilty of doing all of them. No shame over here. I totally understand the looks and comments I get now because before baby Channing, I would see a mom and thing she was the weirdest ever for the things she did. Respect ladies.... Respect.



March 26, 2015
make milk herbal lactation tea

My journey of being a mom these past 8 months have been a great learning experience for me for many reasons. When I chose to pursue attachment parenting, that was something I strongly wanted - so naturally, breastfeeding was to be apart of that. Having that unbreakable bond is important to me.

3 Infant Care Hacks For First-Time Moms

March 11, 2015

Motherhood has been quite the journey these past few months for me. My Channing man turns 8 months on the 21st and I can NOT believe how quick time has already flown. I've learned so much and even discovered a few things about myself. Being a mom is REAL!

For all you new moms out there, here are 3 things you're sure to need to know for when your little one needs you most. Thank me later.

Postpartum Baby Blues + Stroller Madness

October 31, 2014

children n us stroller organizer review

I got to admit that these last 3 months have been a joy with baby around the house and all. Within the last few weeks though, I've been feeling just a tad bit depressed. Is that normal for breastfeeding moms? 

Cradle Cap + New Mom Insomnia (FabHer Fridays Link Up #6)

October 10, 2014

Hey! So this past week has been so busy for me. I seriously feel like superwoman right now writing this. Little Channing will be 3 months this month and ever since his birth, it's safe to say that my sleeping routine hasn't changed. I still stay up all hours of the night while he sleeps in la la land. It's finally taking a toll on me. I go "bed" around 5AM or 6 AM depending on when I start to get drowsy.

HOTMilk Lingerie Nursing Bra: First Impression

September 29, 2014

There is absolutely nothing sexier than a Hot Mama right? Well, at least I think so. A couple of months ago, I received a piece of sexy maternity lingerie to check out and enjoy. Let's just say, at the time, my boobs actually fit the bra. 

[LOVE ON TOP] My Labor and Delivery Story + Baby Channing

September 26, 2014

It's been approximately 9 weeks and 4 days since I gave birth to my first child EVER! I still can't believe that I'm someone's mom. My family and even I always thought I'd be some super successful whatever before I ever had children. But I guess my life map had other things planned for me. This pat month has been the best ever... aside from deeper and more personal things. Baby Channing is the everything that's getting me through it all and holding me together.

A Maternity Shoot in Washington Park...

August 26, 2014

Welp, it's a relief to finally be able to get you all caught up with what's been going on in the past couple months of my new life as a mommy. I decided to continue where I left off and share my maternity shoot for my what.... BABY BOY!

Preggonista Style Box Review| Big Bellies Never Looked SO GOOD!

May 14, 2014
Attention all fashionable mommies-to-be and lady friends! I have something pretty cool to share with you. So, style should never be compromised or put on hold due to several factors in life. That includes pregnancy. I've been enjoying my pregnancy greatly rocking my 6 inch heels, fitted skirts, and all! The wonderful folks over at Preggonista sent me something special to share with you fab preggo mamas.

I don't know about you but I refused to purchase maternity clothes, lol. I'm 29 weeks and haven't had to purchase any tops, bottoms, or anything aside from bras and undies. My lovely lady humps are starting to thicken up. YES!! Luckily, I keep several tunics and such that now simply accentuate my belly curves. Besides, most maternity fashions you find in stores are very boring and mute.