DEAR SUN, SINCERELY MOTHERHOOD

October 14, 2015


It's been 14 whole months since I experienced the gift of life that is childbirth. Me, a mother. A woman - WOMBman in every sense of the word. I'm thankful.

This past year has been rocky, full of uncertainty, some regret, and even many disappointments in myself. Out of an experience that should have been more sacred, filled with more happiness, but was determined to keep me at my worst came a special gift I never knew I'd be given. Thank you. Sometimes I have to remember to just trust the process. There are only lessons to be learned.


Motherhood. The most important role in this life. I have a responsibility to lead. I have a responsibility to teach. I have the duty of giving my all to a beautiful and innocent being the things I did not have or lacked receit thereof. I promise to do all I can to protect your mind, fill your soul with all things beautiful, welcome expression of your thoughts, nurture and respect your own journey, and more. I do want to apologize for not being a better woman as I carried you. I lacked great love for myself. I settled too often and put myself last for far too long but thank you for choosing me. You've given me reason to put me first. To be better to me first so I can do more for you in this life.

In this experience, I continue to evolve - grow - and prosper into the woman I'm meant to be. It just feels right. My journey isn't understood by those who lack focus and respect within their own journies and that is okay. I can't blame them. I've experienced the negative feedback of things I no longer give (inner)g to or respond in the way others expect. I'm learning. I accept that with growth comes conflict when interacting with others on levels unknown to most. I'm okay with that. You taught me. We all have our own paths. Not everyone will respect them.

Long days of watching you grow and welcome your curiosity - I admire your freedom. To be carefree, you are freedom and where life should be in its purest form. I do my best to love you - love on you - because it's most important. It helps in my healing as well. I never imagined having a part of me in the flesh. But then you came. I vowed to love you beyond what this hectic world wants to hide.

Thank you for choosing me. No judgment. If I seem frustrated, you forgive me. I desire your heart. The smiles you share with me daily, reminding me that I'm doing something right. Out of a dark place, I was given you. A light.... My own Sun.

I'm still learning. I'm still growing. Thank you for choosing me.

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