Somehow a movement that began as a way to encourage, empower, and help black women to be free with their hair and love who they are naturally, suddenly turned hostile to women doing just that. The natural hair community backlash order just came out of nowhere. Yes lawwwd…. smh. The rules people have just put out regarding natural hair are pure ridiculous most times.
Here we go again.. right? I believe I speak for all natural hair ladies when I say that when it comes to truly being an “individual” while keeping the dignity of our hair, sometimes even our own be out to get us. Prime example, when a person that is “natural” decides that she wants to add some funk and color to her hair or even change the style up and straighten, I see nothing wrong with it. It’s her hair, not mines! Unfortunately, we have people in the natural hair community who feel that being a “natural” should be STRICTLY no heat, weaves, or chemicals whatsoever, including hair color that’s not naturally your own. Honey, its 2013… ain’t nobody listening to that.
Geez… some people just take the word natural too seriously. Ay dios mio. We are all different people and of course we are entitled to our own opinions but don’t shoot down the next person for making the choice to stand out a bit and color their hair or even use heat on it in any way. Get ya life!! Natural hair, no matter the color, texture, or styling methods is beautiful. If we all just stuck with thinking the same, there would be no such thing as diversity or individualism. So in the words of my Fairy Draq mother, RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hellll you gon’ love somebody else?” Stop being so judgmental ….k?
I thought Brittany’s story was a great example of this. The shade is real people. Read more about how she’s dealt with the adversity within the natural hair community.
Here’s the debate we are all sick of hearing about, if you dye your hair are you really natural? It is something that is talked about in our natural hair community all the time. Also if a woman uses sulfate filled products instead of all natural made products, they have broken all the rules of being natural. Before you freak out because you aren’t following “The Rules of A Natural Girl”, remember you chose this lifestyle because you wanted to.
The reason I chose natural hair is because I was always a DIY person and I love doing different hairstyles. Also I never really took care of my relaxed hair. I needed a fresh start from the box perm and flat iron.
One day I decided on a whim that I would do the big chop. I didn’t even tell my husband! I went to a barber shop and let him cut my hair. The barber left a little hair on my head even though I told him to make me bald. I expected to walk out the barber feeling like Mary Tyler Moore, but suddenly I felt very vulnerable. I had no hair and I didn’t feel hot at all. I came home and begged my husband to go get me a wig. Yes, I was having a full blown freak out. He calmed me down and told me that my hair would grow back.
Who knew that a man could say something right for once?
Well I finally started to accept myself and loved myself for who I truly was. I started being a natural hair fiend! I began following natural hair blogs and vlogs. I started doing YouTube hair tutorials and I was actually able to do many of the hairstyles. I was feeling myself! And of course when you actually start to feel yourself you find yourself with a hater.
I got on Facebook to see if I really liked a photo I just posted (you don’t how many pictures I don’t use). While I was on Facebook I noticed a friend posts, ‘Are you truly natural if you dye your hair? I think not’. It has never been confirmed if she was reading me or if that was projected to the whole community. It threw me in a huge loop. I thought it was a silly comment until I started reading different websites on the subject. Come to find many feel the same way.
So not matter what I do I always felt like an outsider. Now many people in this community feels like I’m not apart of community because I dye my hair and use a few products that aren’t 100% natural. Then I got to thinking, I didn’t become natural for them, but for myself. There are always going to be people who think that their way of thinking is the best way. There are always going to be haters and naysayers. But remember that your hair is your hair. Do whatever you feel like doing to your hair! As Rihanna puts “Who cares what you haters feel?”
Amen to that right? Who cares? I know I don’t.